"empty table syndrome"

Well, it is less than an hour until a new year begins. . .

My - oh my - what a year this has been. God has surely had us on some adventure - huh?!

A year a go tonight I was sitting with Steve watching "the ball" come down and Dick Clarke in Times Square. We had just enjoyed a holiday with Brandy, Kevin, the girls and Kimberly. I think we even put the girls to bed upstairs and played a game of Rumicube - one of our vacation favorites. We felt a little "funny" because we that next Christmas would be different. Kevin and Brandy had shared that they would be moving to Ohio and that their days in NJ would be over. The changes began at the very beginning of 2008!

January took the Kevin Deichert family to Ohio and we began life without the constant little voices calling for "Poppop". You see, Steve would sit upstairs in his recliner and read stories to the girls and cut them fruit and Brandy would take a break (?) and go to the grocery store. This was a system that worked for everyone. Now I would tell Steve that we would see the girls in X -amount of days and he would say "no" they have been gone X-amount of days. I know he REALLY missed them. I would re-iterate that this was God's plan and we had to accept it.

God allowed Steve to attend the wrestling tournaments with his brother and watch his nephew wrestle - boy he liked going. They would truck out with the wheelchair and park in the "handicapped" parking and enjoy the evening. I think Steve just like being on the floor in the wheelchair and close to the team to smell the sweat. Yuk!

April came and we headed to Ohio to spend a week at Apple Valley Resort. We were sooo excited. Dr. DiMenna gave permission for Steve to swim because his foot had healed and was able to get wet. Steve's desire of his heart had come true. He couldn't wait to get into the water with the girls. Everyday we swam. It was an Olympic sized pool and we were the only ones in it most of the time. We all had fun. We also borrow Daniel's Wii and had a good time with that as well. We enjoyed my nephew's wedding in Cleveland and then had to head home to NJ.

The summer came with some more changes. I resigned from my teaching at Shining Lights Preschool and moved to Joyful Noise Christian School in Marlton. God has taken care of this transition and I love what I am doing. I began working in the summer to get familiar with the procedures and facilities. I was helping them because another staff member had lost her husband to cancer.

THEN July 15th a day that none of us will ever forget. The AVM and off to a most difficult adventure God has ever delivered us. There have been different chapters to our adventure of life and just like the others - God WAS with us 100% of the way. We both sensed God with our decisions. These were difficult valley days for Steve. Dr. Mike Renzi said that it was "the worst". Steve shared with me that it was like going through hell. He wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy.

Oct. 4th we were supposed to board a plane for Disney World to vacation in our timeshare with the family - this was "our" plans not God's. We knew that Steve would take a bit longer to recover so we moved it to May so he could get stronger. Steve aspirated that day and decided to opt not to be put back on a ventilator and wait for God to take him home.

On Oct. 5th Steve experienced a place better than Disney - he experienced the presence and glory of God! No sun or moon because God's glory shines 24/7. No more night terrors and two great feet that can take him everywhere he wants to go!

God has been Wonderful to me since Steve has gone home. I KNOW He is with me constantly. When this began I said to the Lord - Steve was my rock and HE said -"no I am your rock!" and He has been! There have been times of fear and the Lord has placed a song that talks about not being afraid of the darkness - if God be for us who can be against us? or a preacher that preaches just (?) what I am feeling.

Are there times of sadness? Yes, most definitely. It hits us all at different times. Saturday we went to the Columbus Zoo and there was a building about the "reef" I remember Steve LOVING the ocean at Curacao and swimming with the tropical fish. I lost it that time.

Right now our biggest problem is fixing food. Steve took great care of feeding all of us. He made the kids lunches from day one. I knew if I went out at night time or on a retreat my kids would be well taken care of. It has take me a long time to make a decent cup of coffee. Yes, I was spoiled - Steve would make my breakfast and 10 course lunch - I would get dressed, come down and eat and leave. When ever we ate he cooked - I can - I just haven't. And everything in my brain is 7 or more. I am basically going through "EMPTY TABLE SYNDROME".

Kimberly and I are still doing some adjusting. She isn't on a regular schedule and PLEASE pray that she would find contentment in the job God has for her whatever that is. Meals are still a chore for both of us. When you have been married and lived with a chef for so many years - this may take a while.

Well, thank you for your mind. We are all going through this process as well as we can.

I found this in Steve's papers and I would like to share it with you on this New Year 2009 -

"When we disobey God
we defy His authority and despise His Holiness
When we fail to trust God
we doubt His sovereignty and question His goodness."

On that note I close - I don't know where each one of you are spiritually but God LOVES you and Mr. Steve loved you as well. Mr. Steve's desire for everyone was that they come to a personal knowledge of the God of the universe! God has a plan for you and HIS desire is that you seek HIM.

HAPPY NEW YEAR - 2009 One year closer to being with our God and one year closer to being with all those who are temporarily separated from us.

Three Months Ago today

It has been exactly 12 weeks since the start of the roller coaster Mom and I have been on called "AVM burst."

My family and I would like to thank all of you who have read this blog and have left comments to encourage us and Mr. Steve. I would like to thank those who made it out for the funeral and/or viewing last week. It was such a testimony to see all of the people impacted by my father's life. He was a great man, he left a legacy. I am proud to call him my dad. I said at the funeral, I loved my father, but I also liked him a lot. He was the best man I ever knew.

There are a lot of people in the world that never get to meet their parents. Some children have terrible parents that they run away from. There are some that have good parents that watch them get married and have children of their own become successful and get old. And then they bury their parents.

But then there are a few of us who end up burying our parents for one reason or another when we are just starting out in life. I never thought I would say my life hasn't begun and I'm already through college. I thought in college that my life began and was now over because those were supposed to be the best years of my life.

I am not saying that they were terrible or that they were the best years of my life but they were a time where my father was alive. I am thankful that my father saw me graduate from college. I'm glad he saw his daughter do something he himself did not do.

I am thankful for all the disagreements we had before, during and after college. I am glad my father loved me that he cared about me. He was proud of me, I know that.

My wish now isn't a regret that I have; but a request I now have. All I want to do is talk to him. I'm not sure what I would say or if I would say anything. I want to give him a big hug and tell him I love him.

My father was not scared on his deathbed. He was not worried about the future of his family that he would not see. My dad had the clarity of mind to tell his son, "take care of your mom." He had the right mind to ask for me "where is my daughter," and hold my face and call me "precious."

What I will think about for years to come is what my father said over and over the last night of his life. It was when mom and I stayed with him at the hospital. He said "Its OK girls, I'll be fine."

I know that you were touched by my father's life in some way or fashion. If you have a story or a memory of my father, please email me your story (kimberlydeichert@yahoo.com). I will be compiling a lot of things about my dad over the next few weeks and months. I want people to know (his grandchildren) what their grandfather was all about.

Thank you to all of you who have read this blog even in its smallest part or if you have stayed with us over the long hall and read its entirety. Mom and I would agree that this helped not only you, but us as well. Some day I will look back and read all of the entries but that's not today.

Thank you all Sandy Covers that came up for the funeral it was great to see you there! Mr. Steve would have been very emotional have known you would come up for it! Mom and I will try to put something together so we can all reunite under better circumstances.

Again, thank you for your continued prayer support. Mom and I will need it these next few weeks, and even months and years as we grieve over the loss of a dear friend, father, spouse, etc.

Hopefully in the next week or so I will be posting a video of dad so stay tuned for a few more posts.

And in case you didn't know...there have been over 700 people that have viewed this blog!!!!

Funeral Arrangements

Here is the obituary that the funeral home put together for us today. We are now on our way to discuss the service plans at church. Thank you for your comments, thoughts and prayers.

Keep 'em comin...


Follow this link for the obituary...

http://www.northeastobits.com/posts.cfm?st=34&obit=28057

Home with Jesus

I'm staring at my fingers on the keys of this computer, and I can't seem to know the right words to write.

Some of you may know, and some of you may not, but my father finished his race today around 8:00pm.

Yesterday around 6pm he choked on some water and Mom was the only one home so she called 911. They took dad to the ER and we discussed our options. The options were to put him on a ventilator for 15 to 20 days then talk about a trach and surgery on the lungs. When he aspirated something went into his lungs. Dad was awake and able to talk so we talked with him about what we could do. He said that he did not want to be all wired up. And he understood that he would be kept comfortable; but that there was nothing more to be done. He was put on a morphine drip from then on.

So last night Mom and I stayed in his room with him. He had difficulty breathing through the night. Kevin and Brandy drove through the night so they could be here because no one knew what would happen.

Today my dad met his grandson. Held his grandson and talked to him. Dad also saw Anna and Ella today and told them he loved them.

People in church were told of dad's condition and that he was now considered under "comfort care." Several families stopped by to see him and he had a GREAT last day on earth! He was laughing and joking and having a good time.

I showed up around 4pm (I left after Kevin & Brandy got there so I could take the girls home). It was around 6pm that Dad was having a severe time breathing. Mom called Kevin to come back to the hospital.

It was from around 6:30 until 8:30 that Dad had a tough time. We increased his morphine until he was comfortable and he went home to be with Jesus around 8:30pm.

The nursing staff was amazing at the hospital! I am so glad they were there to help him and us! They were crying along side of us as we watched him take his last breath.

Thank you all for following in this journey we have been on for a few months.

I'll post information about the funeral arrangements, etc. tomorrow so check it tomorrow.

God has healed my father and I am so grateful for the peace I have knowing everything is going to be all right. My dad is up in heaven seeing the face of His Savior! I will miss him, any daughter would, but I know God is still worthy to be praised no matter what happens in my life. Thank you heavenly Father for giving me such an amazing Dad!

Spread the Word

This is an early evening post, but I think I need to rest (I have a slight fever) so I'm writing my thoughts now.

Right now Harvest 08 is going on just over the river at the Wachovia Center. I'm praying that people's hearts would be moved and God would do His mighty work tonight and the rest of the weekend. I will be heading to Harvest tomorrow night and Sunday. If you are in the area I encourage you to make it out to at least one!

Life now goes like this:

God has a funny way of making me COMPLETELY dependent on Him.

Yesterday I purchased the van I've been looking at for about a month or so. I found the van online, and I test drove it last week. After speaking to several banks, I got the loan over the phone and the check was mailed to me yesterday. I went straight after work to get it!

The dealership I went too was up in Trenton. There are only two guys that work there, and they are the nicest guys on the planet. I would buy a car there again anytime!! The price is right, and the warranty is amazing:)

It was as I was getting in the van that I turned around and shook the hand of the gentleman that helped me. I said, "Bryant, I would recommend you guys any day of the week. I appreciate everything you've done for me. Thank you." It was then that he said "You are one very special woman, and it was my pleasure to meet you. You are going through a tough situation; and you are handling things better than I could."

Here's the van...

2005 Town & Country 40k miles...

StowNGo:)...

Stressed out? I have A LOT of reasons to be stressed out. And honestly, this week I've been more stressed out than I'd like to admit.

But...

As much as situations in my journey can cause me to question everything, I take pride knowing that God thinks I can handle it.

Life is not at simple as"when life gives you lemons, make lemonade." (I'm actually not a fan of lemonade; I prefer sweet tea!)

It is in I Peter and James that we learn that God challenges whom he loves, His children. As Evan Almighty would say, "Love me less." God loves me so much, that He gave His only Son, that if I believe in Him I will not perish but have eternal life.

But it doesn't stop there...

If you love me, you will do what I command (John 14:15).

I'm studying Philippians with ladies at church and Kay Arthur helps us to see that Paul was given the platform of imprisonment to spread the gospel message.

So this is what God has said to me today:

Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again-rejoice!
Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do.

Remember, the Lord is coming soon.
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.

Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.
If you do this, you will experience God's peace,

which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand.

His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:4-7

So many people think that what this says is "Rejoice in EVERYTHING"...and people interpret that to "Be Happy all the time"....but its not like that...God wants us to rejoice in the promises he has given us...

When?

ALL THE TIME.

There are too many requests to mention at this time; but please pray for me if you get a moment. Also pray for Dad that he would make serious improvements as constant care can take its' toll on a small woman a.k.a. my mom. Pray that no matter what happens this week or next, that people would see that the platform of my fathers illness that my mom and I are on is just a platform to spread the gospel message.

"a full night's sleep for Steve"

Mom's remember when your infant slept through for the first time? Well, I woke up a number of times last night waiting for Steve to wake up. Fortunately or unfortunately for me - he slept from 10:00pm to 6:18 am. Praise the Lord - the first uninterrupted night's sleep he has had since July 15th! He was breathing kinda hard because he had his mouth open and he had had a night sweat. So I was worried that something was wrong. I woke him and asked if he had to go to the bathroom. He said yes - then began becoming more alert. He peed, I then told him that I wanted a half an hour of quiet then he could talk. I was the very silly one. I should have slept soundly myself. It was good to get the longer sleep! When I woke him up we talked about what happened. He also remembered about waking up startled when the kids were babies. It was good that he slept and tonight I will sleep much better! He told me that he was looking forward to a good night's sleep tonight again. I promise not to wake him this time.

This adventure is very long and there is soo much to learn. I am so thankful for Christian radio stations! When I am in the car I listen to the speakers and they have something that I need to hear. Whether it is a familiar passage of scripture or a meaningful song - I love the way the Lord encourages me each day. Today the pastor talked about "going through the fire and we are not consumed - He is with us" This was comforting to remember. I will share this with Steve tonight.

Thank you for praying for us. It is great to know that your prayers are being answered. Thank you for praying for the little things - like a good night's sleep.

Good night.

Janice

"please Lord - no fever"

Just a quick blog tonight. It has been a very busy day today. With working and a meeting a preschool this evening. Then Kimberly at work and student ministries this evening. We are both bushed. Thank you Vicki for Mr. Steve sitting this evening. You were a life saver. Thank you also for going the "extra" mile and attending to his unmentional need.

Please pray that his low grade fever goes away. With the AVM we know that the body temperature goes wacko from time to time. It's like having a hot flash - ladies. But he gets sweaty in the am and needs to have his chirt changed which is no easy task as I am trying to get things done in the AM. For all of our peace of minds - please pray that this is just a small phase and that it will go away very soon. The fever is 99.4 - but to me any fever is not good. He did have these in the hospital and went on anti-biotics and found nothing.

Have a great evening or Thursday.

Janice

"getting into a routine"

Sleep was okay last night. Steve has a problem with this tummy rolling - doing summersalts after the tube feed is put on. Kimberly tonight will make sure that the water she uses for the flush is only room temperature so that we can rule out the chill on the water upsetting his stomach. Tonight we will give his evening meds crushed with apple sauce rather than in the tube feed and that will be less water as well.

This morning was very busy with trying to get out to work. I did it. I will need to be more organized as time goes on as getting clothes out and making lunch the night before. Uncle Denny did get me a decaf WAWA coffee that tasted great! We did run into a slight problem. The Accu-chek Active machine was not working. However God provided 2 meters now for no cost!

Work was great - I wondered what was going on at home but I did not worry at all. I knew he would be well cared for. They had a good day together. Uncle Denny did work him and he was much more alert when I came home. He used the hand weights and Steve actually enjoyed it!

When I got home I bathed him and he did a good job with dinner. We have been enjoying very meaningful conversations. We both understand that this is a very difficult time. I think everyday he says he is sorry. I assure him that this is God's plan and he doesn't need to apologize. We will get through these days. He is more and more determined to work hard and this encourages me greatly.

The hardest thing is the bathroom issue. He is unable to be mobile and this makes normal bodily functions hard to manage. Just let your mind tell you the rest. But praise the Lord I am encouraged that he is able to help me a bit more each day. This morning I was determined to do the change thing by our selves. I was sweating and tired by the time I went to work but, WE did it! Some of the initial "fears" are starting to subside. He says he is "anxious" rather than "scared" now. And this is good. Today Kimberly even watched as he moved his left leg. The is great!

We continue on and continue to lean on the Lord for courage and strength. "I am still confident of this: I will see Your goodness, Lord, in the land of the living. I will wait for You, Lord, I will be strong and take heart and wait for You, Lord. " Ps. 27: 13-14

Janice

" in everything give thanks"

I decided that we would begin writing down everything that encourages us each day. It is always is good to hear the positive so that is the way we will get through this adventure. Right now it is hard - very hard.

Today the nurse came to make sure I could give Steve the necessary needles. Testing his sugar, insulin - 2 kinds, and the blood thinner that hurts him when I give it because it burns when it goes in his belly. She sent the physical therapy nurse. When she came to assess the situation she said that the only thing she would do with Steve was "range of motion" therapy. This meant that she would move his legs up and down and move his arms the same way. That was all. She wanted to know what goal the family had for Mr. Steve. I said that we wanted him to walk again. She said that that goal was not attainable with the therapy that she did and that we would have to contact our physician to have him request this for Steve. As God would have it - the AETNA case manager called today and wanted to know how we were doing and offer a free service AETNA has - to work on behalf of the patient and get appropriate care. Boy did I fill her ears with information. She will call me back later in the week to see what they can do to get Steve out patient physical therapy. That would be great. Please pray that God works something out because I am not ready to give up on his ability to walk again. He really wants to be able to walk by himself to the bathroom.

We are also thankful for God providing meals for us. This will be a GREAT help because I go back to work tomorrow. And BOY is Mr. Steve going to have fun with Uncle Denny. He will be pooped when I get home I'm sure. I brought up 2 pound weights for them to begin a home therapy program.

Today Steve is showing signs of understanding a little more about his left hand. He was looking at his hand and got some of the fingers to move. This is good. He also moved his left leg and the physical therapy nurse thought that was good. So these are signs of encouragement for me anyway.

Steve is eating a little better now - that is good. His daytime sugars are also good. It's just the stupid night tube feedings that send his sugars into orbit. That is another discussion.

We got MORE sleep last night and this is REALLY good. He slept from 10:30 to 1:30 and needed to pee and was up until 2:15 then back to sleep until 6:18 and I asked him to give me another hour and he slept until 8:00. That was good - I could take that every night.

So here we are again. Thanking you for holding us up in prayer and God for getting us through another day.

Janice

"getting used to Mr. Steve's needs"

Thank you to everyone who is praying for us. I can't wait for Mr. Steve to be able to get to the computer and be able to read all the things you have written. Of course it will take him a long time not only because he is slow at the computer but he will get choked up as he read what you have written.

Last night was a very long - or short night. Kimberly gave him his night medicines and he immediately fell asleep. He then woke up at 10:30pm and only slept off and on the rest of the night. I think we slept from 4:30am to 6:15am. There was a thunder storm during that time but I didn't hear it. So tonight we are giving his nighttime meds at 10:00pm and hopefully he will sleep better. Usually the first night in a new place is always difficult. He promised to sleep better tonight.

He had a busy day. He got to see his puppy dog, Daisy. The Compton's have our dog now and they are enjoying her. It was nice for Steve to see her and pet her. He was a little scared that she would jump on him and he wouldn't be able to handle her. Kimberly will send along a picture.

We were able to get Mr. Steve into his favorite chair. Pastor Dave the recliner that you struggled to get upstairs is now back downstairs. Sorry Kathy - your cozy living room is a hospital room/rehab right now. I can't wait to get it back to the cozy place I love. Steve enjoyed being in the chair and he was able to tolerate it for about 4 1/2 hours. I told him that it was the last place he sat before his AVM. It gave us a time to reflect on where we have been and how God got us through and how He will get us through the rest.

Steve also had a great talk with Benjamin who suffered an AVM four years ago. He was a great encouragement to Steve. God places trials in our lives so we can help others. Mr. Steve said that Benjamin is a very strong commitment to Christ that is unshakable. Mr. Steve will continue to remember what Benjamin said to keep him going. And of course I will continue to remind him that Benjamin said that therapy WILL be hard and the pain will be great but he (Mr. Steve) MUST keep on and endure. I'll remind him nicely.

Tomorrow I will be home from work. I praise the Lord for such a fabulous place to work. The entire staff has encouraged me and prayed for me throughout these 2 months. Tomorrow I hope to set more of the care for Steve and the therapy's he is eligible for. Uncle Dennis is taking care of his brother for Tuesday - Friday. This will be a BIG help so we can get Steve on a schedule and be able to predict more of his abilities. Next week we will begin having others attend to Steve's needs during the hours that I will be at work. Thank you to all who have volunteered to help Steve in such a great way.

Well the Eagles are on and I need to chill out.

Have a restful sleep. I know I hope to....

Janice

breaktime

Well...it was a pretty good first day at home.

Dad is in bed now, and I just gave him all his medications and insulin for the night. He's asking for the usual fix my arm, my butt, my legs, my neck...but other than that he is fine.

The nurse, Jay, is here now, and is talking with Mom about what is going to happen and basic questions he needs to ask to get updated with Dad's health. Jay is from the home health care place through our insurance, and his job tonight was to just see where we are at and where we are going.

While getting the medications all ready Jay said...something about "Bethel"...what is this Bethel Baptist I keep hearing about? And we said that we were members there, and he said "I knew there was something different about you guys!" You born again, he asked? He said "I'm a believer too!" And we said yes...he said "Oh so you guys believe in the rapture...you think its gonna happen soon too right?" Yes we do;) He was soo soo happy to meet us, and we are delighted to have met him. I'm not sure if he will be actively at our house, but I wouldn't be surprised if we get to see him again;)

Anyway...I went to Walmart and Shoprite today. I needed to stock up on Dad's prescriptions which were a total of 16...and lots of $$$. Then I stocked up our pantry because Mom and I do not eat at home much anymore, and definitely not together...so now that everyone is home we have to think about food. Ekkk...I'm now the chef;)...Dad was totally cute and asked if I needed help when I made dinner but Mom reassured him that I was OK.

Dad had a couple visitors today so we signed them up to help moved Dad to the wheelchair:) So yes, four rookies used a lift to put my dad in a wheelchair and all parties are alive to tell about it;) Thanks Vickie and Bud!!:) I'm sure it won't take that many people in the future (I hope), but for a while it just might be that way. He was in the wheelchair for about an hour, when I wanted to tilt him back and the thing kind of broke! So we had to quick put him back on the hoyer (lift) to put him back in bed. And Praise the Lord it was a lot easier than getting him up!

The plan for tomorrow is to have the routine nurse stop by to talk about what the extended care of Dad will be for the remainder of the year.

Mom will be staying home with Dad tomorrow and Monday. I'll be heading off to church in the morning and I encourage you to do the same!

Here is a picture from tonight's events:)

He's home...

Just thought I would take a second to let you all know that he is home. I'll update later to tell you more about how the day goes...thanks for your continued support.

Here's his new room...aka the living room...

Here is the hoyer (lift) and the welcome home sign mom made for him...

Here he is...

"one more night"

I went to visit Steve this morning. Knowing this was his last week in the rehab I tried to do it every morning. When I went in I said, "Do you know what tomorrow is?" He said, "Yea, I get out of prison!" Who ever said he didn't know what was going on? He is well aware of what is going on!

So tomorrow at 11:30am he gets transported by medical transport - home. Hooray. This will cut out some of my time on the road but will increase my responsibility. Many people have said that he will do better once he is home. I think the same thing, especially since he has had to move from hospital to hospital. I know he will get much better care. Those facilities have many people to care for - we only have one. Also at my fingertips we have a number of nurses who have offered their services at ANY time.

I did get some encouraging news from the speech therapist. She said he was doing very well. He is able to eat soft foods now. He can chew and should chew. She did say no rice, corn or meat like chicken on the bone. She did not know about the paralyzed vocal cords but was very glad that we did not trach him. She said just be extra careful and keep an eye on him while eating. Also serve him thickened beverages and only a very little thin beverages.

I got a list of exercises that we can do here. I asked for any and all hand outs. I know Uncle Dennis is planning on a rigorous work out for him. I just need to remind him that we do need to have a little compassion - right?

The bed is all ready - in fact we'll have to kick Kimberly out of it so her dad can get in. So here begins another chapter of our adventure. I can't remember what chapter we are on at this time.

Kimberly did purchase a van so we can transport him around. I'll let her share those details with you later. She can blog tomorrow night.

When he gets home he is planning on taking a shower - I explained why that was not possible yet. And he was also planning on going to church on Sunday. I don't think that will work yet either. In time this all will happen.

Continue to pray for us. Especially that we will have wisdom, knowledge and strength. Please pray that we will be free of colds and flu this season. This would be REALLY bad news for Steve. I work in a preschool and I plan on showering every day when I get home - before I touch him. This worked with my grandchildren when they were babies.

Have a great day tomorrow - I know Mr. Steve will!

Mrs. Steve/ Janice

One more day at Silvercare...

So depending on how you look at things...we have two nights and one full day left to get things somewhat in order for Dad to come home.

When I got there tonight to see him, he was stressed out. His butt hurt, his hip hurt, his back hurt...everything hurt.

And according to him...

"I'm done, I don't want to do this anymore."

You can read that over and over and interpret it a bunch of different ways. Is he done in this journey called "life?" Is he done with being constantly dependent on someone else? Is he done with pain or what his brain interprets as pain?

My father's body has honestly, never worked correctly. Well, at least for the past twenty years or so. He has survived a heart attack. Which was caused by 1200 blood sugar count resulting in diabetes. He has survived kidney stones. He has survived a hole in his foot for two years. He has survived pneumonia and an abscess in his lung. And he has "survived" a AVM burst.

And that's only his body.

So that is where he has been; and that's not what we need to talk about. We need to talk about the present. The future only holds too many questions; for him, and my family.

Dad is having a hard time breathing which is a result from having paralyzed vocal cords. He is very afraid of the place he is in right now because they take so long (twenty minutes or more) in getting back to him after he has pushed the call button. Dad has made little progress in the past two and a half months. He is going to be more 'comfortable' at home, but he won't get all the highly trained skilled physical, occupational, speech, etc. therapists that have been available to him up until now.

You may ask, what's the plan?

Although I would love to tell you that the plan is for Dad to be mobile and independent in six months, the reality of that is not likely. I hope that he can and with the strength only God can provide he can get through this.

But right now...

I'm OK if I pray for relief. Relief from my father continually in discomfort, continually needing a reason to go on, continually dependent on someone else for everything.

God You know that I need you to get through this. And I'm OK if you want to send him home to be with You. I want Your name to be praised! I want others to be so drawn to you that they don't have a reason to hate You. I hope that others would see what it is to be in a Christ-centered home. I want others to know You and the gift ONLY YOU have to offer!! Be with my father tonight. Calm his mind, and fears. I pray that You would work all things out for YOUR good and not my own. I thank you for giving me this family. I thank You for giving me my dad. I love you, Amen.

"eleven weeks"

My how time has flown by - NOT! It is now fall and I don't even remember summer except for the one evening at Ocean City. New Jersey - of course!! Sorry Judy. Kimberly spent the evening with her dad so I will let her finish out the blog for this evening.

This has been an interesting adventure. We can all see how God directed us EACH inch of the way. We have all grown sooooo close to the Lord because HE was the only one to bring us comfort and wisdom during this time. Steve continues to CRY out to the Lord for help during this time. He REALLY wants this over however, his need to depend on the Lord totally is not up yet. But then again - is there a time that we should stop depending on the Lord TOTALLY?
We get going along in life living each day and do we totally depend on the Lord? Just a thought there.

Four more nights away from home and then the responsibility for his physical care falls on us. That could be good or bad. I know we will be able to attend to his needs a whole lot better than he is experiencing now. This morning I was beginning to get concerned about this very thing. Kimberly and I will do some training to do his food tube because he will be getting this in the evening. I was listening to Greg Laurie this am and he was talking about when you have to do something that you are anxious about - the more you do it the easier it gets. See God was letting me know that I don't need to be anxious because the more I do the feeding tube the easier it will become for me to do. Thank you Lord for the encouragement that we can do this.

Tomorrow the expansion of the interior doorways begins. Dirt - dirt everywhere. Oh well - that is progress. Pray that it goes well and quickly.

Also pray for Kimberly and I as we look for a vehicle. We don't have a car that will seat Steve comfortably and take his wheelchair. Mr. Steve's black van has 192,000 miles on it and Kevin just took it to Ohio for his second vehicle until it dies. God has always provided a FANTASTIC automobile. The silver bullet with 180,000 miles and the Bat mobile with 192,000. I KNOW He will provide another one I'm sure.

Dad is doing good. He left a message on Kevin's phone telling him that he is glad Kevin just got his new job, and was hoping that he had a good first day of work. We watched the Phillies game together; then I got him dressed for bed. When I left he was in good spirits, so its nice to know he was resting comfortably when I left him.

Thank you for your continued prayer support...but the hard part is just about to begin...so pray for us as we will be solely responsible for his care starting Saturday.

"five nights to go"

Well, the date is set - Mr. Steve will be coming home Saturday. Check out is by 10:00am. It sounds like a hotel. Believe me it is not - although Mr. Steve thought he was in the lobby of America's Keswick waiting for a room this past weekend. He told me he ended up sleeping on the step. He also heard Jim Kennedy's voice. I assured him that he was not at Keswick and that I would never leave him to sleep on the step.

So this week we get everything together. We are ready in the living room for the bed. And Kimberly and I have gotten settled in our "new" rooms.

Thank you to all who have visited Mr. Steve for the month of September. It has been really good for Kimberly and I to have that time to get things together. If you are interested in visiting Steve at home - no problem. I would ask that you contact one me so we don't have a mass of people visit now then no one later. Steve would love to visit all of you - but I don't want to overwhelm him. He told me tonight that he was overwhelmed with all that is going on. I am setting up a schedule for those who have told me they were interested in helping with this care during the day.

A prayer request for Mr. Steve right now is that he not be overwhelmed but "rest" in God's plan. He "wants" to do things but is not able. This is very frustrating. I know when he gets home he will feel much better. Right now he continues to fight the "unknown". He is scared of falling again, hitting his head (brain), someone not being careful and bumping his head. And there are more - but this will take care of "his" allotted prayer slot. Jared the physical therapist tonight was very encouraging. He told him that he WOULD walk again. He gave us things to do to stimulate the nerve endings in the "sleeping" limbs. Like rubbing them gently, then rubbing them more vigerous, then using a soft bristled small paint brush. This will help the brain to work the nerves in the limbs. Really good info.

Well, it is way past my bedtime so I'm done.

Rest well and I will because God is with me and Mr. Steve even though we are a few miles apart.

Janice

"one VERY busy week"

Today's day began with a bath - not mine but a washcloth bath for Mr. Steve. Boy was that fun!
Mr. Steve has not had a shower since Magee. Remember he said that he was NOT going to take a shower until he got home - well this might just happen. This rehab does not have the routine as Magee does. I don't even know if they do showers since he has not been out of bed since he arrived either time he was there. But I won't go there. I figured that since he will be coming home soon I had better get into the routine. Tammy the nurse said I did great. I just needed her help to move him up and put his clothes on better. He is only able to move his right side so this is a difficult process to do alone.

With all that has gone on this past week I am planning on bringing Steve home soon. I will let you all know probably tomorrow for sure what the plan is. He is really doing better. With his vision better and the visit to Virtua to assure him that he is physically fine - I think we have hurdled over some unsure waters in Steve's mind. He seemed much more alert yesterday and today. He is even allowing me to do some physical therapy stuff with him. We talk about Anna and Ella and his love for swimming with them to detract his attention. Today he didn't even know I was moving his hand. And then on the other hand - he was screaming and moaning when I wasn't doing anything.

This will be a very busy week as we prepare for Steve's arrival at home. Please be in prayer overdrive for us. There is planning and preparations with equipment. Thank you so much.

Mr. Steve and company

"I told you NOT to touch that arm"

Thank you night time bloggers! Reading these were extremely encouraging. Night time last night and tonight seem to be a big adjustment right now. Mr. Steve had the nurse call me this morning. He sounded upset but I talked and he seemed better. He hung up and somehow pushed redial. It rang again and he could not see where the phone was and as I was calling his name he was responding - "someone help me" "Oh my, please help me". I kept talking and tried to reassure him. I called the main number on my cell phone. They transferred me to the nurses station where I got a busy signal. The nurse finally came back in and showed him where the phone was and he hung up. So I was frazzled from the minute I woke up.

When I arrived at the rehab - I found out that he did not have his food tube feeding last night. I told the nurse before I left that he didn't have dinner and that he needed his tube feed. So I was just a bit ticked off by then. My kids got to see me ticked. That does not happen often. The supervisor said that it did not come over with the orders from the hospital. But they didn't call me to verify the information. Anyway - he is getting it now. I'll be glad when he can eat "real" food. The tube feed spikes his sugar 100 points. Then he has to get an insulin shot and that is NOT fun.

Today Kevin was in - he took the van back to Ohio. It will be his car to drive to work. Monday Kevin starts for Chase Manhattan Bank. Kevin and Brandy had been praying for the Lord to guide them to the job of HIS choice. Believe it or not - Kevin even told the Lord he would stay in the food service business and be a store manager for Pizza Hut if the Lord directed them back to this area. Oh well, it was very clear that God wants them in Ohio. And Kevin got the desire of his heart and is now out of food service after 15+ years! A part of us will always want them to be close to us - but it is God's plan for us to live apart right now.

Kevin was able to see his dad doing rehab today. Steve is one loud patient. He really did good.
The only problem was that the therapy lady did not tell him that she was working on his left shoulder and she lifted it and he got ohhh myyy. Kevin yelled - "Mom get dad's arm - hurry"
He was lifting in and was about toooooooo..... But I got to it in time. It took all my strength to keep him calm. He did get to put his feet on the floor and sit on the edge of the bed for a time today. He is also doing well and is pulling himself over with his right arm and holding onto the opposite railing. This allows him to get some strength in his right side and move into a more comfortable position. This is good.

Tonight he was disoriented again. He things he is at America's Keswick and needs a room because he doesn't want to sleep in the lobby anymore. I stayed until he was comfortable and almost all the way asleep. My children were afraid I was going to sleep there - really I almost did. He assured me that he was okay. We read verses and prayed. I repeated to him," I am getting better" and I made him repeat it back a number of time. This gives him assurance that he really is progressing and that he will be able to come home soon. We promised him that the next ambulance ride will be the one that takes him home! Lord willing that will be VERY soon.

Enjoy tomorrow worshipping our Lord,
Thank you all again for all your love and concern and most of all your prayers.

Janice

"Sleep well< my love"

I hope there are some late night bloggers. Please pray tonight for Mr. Steve. I left him scared. Tonight he was moved back to Silvercare Rehab. This time he is sharing a room with a Russian man. That would not be a problem except that he has the TV on and it is right in Steve's ear and the volume is loud. Right now Steve is very sensitive to sounds as it is. I asked him what he is afraid of and he said he was hearing weird noises - well, the nurses aide said that that is the way it is all night. Let's face it - he is in a hospital bed that he can't adjust. He is in a room with a person on the other side of the curtain that he can't speak to. He can't get out of bed if he needed to. He doesn't have the confidence that the nurse will come when he pushes the button IF he can find the button. It was such a great day - it makes me sad to end it like this. Please pray for him and for me that I won't worry.

Today WAS truly a good day. I saw many improvements. He was more alert. I made a little sound to him when I entered the room and he immediately opened his eyes and said - "hi baby!"
He said that the double vision was gone. He is able to eat better. Although he is scared of choking so he is not ready for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He is moving his body better. He did not have any night terrors last night. I noticed that his eyes are moving together now.
The blood behind his eyes is probably going away now. PTL! And he was awake for a very long time today. As I was leaving he asked me if I had gone to the bank. We talked about that at 8:00 this morning - good recall. Also he asked if I had done the bills. I had to confess that I had not. He said that I was busy taking care of him instead of doing them. I hit him and we laughed. I assured him that GOD is "doing it". HE is healing Steve and we are EXCITED!

Tonight Kimberly and her friends messed up the house - not really. They moved furniture up and down. They moved me down and Kimberly up. Also we had to make some changes in the living room to fit the hospital bed in it. We opted to put the hospital bed in the there so when people come over there will be more room. Also the TV is in there. A BIG thank you to all those who helped.

After this evening's bedtime adventure - I'd like to get him home ASAP. So pray with us and keep an eye to the blog for an update. Rest well.

Janice

"I don't like rollar coasters"

The last 24 hours have been a giant roller coaster ride! Taller than "The Beast" at Kings Island!
We were notified by the ENT doctor that Steve's vocal cords are paralyzed. This was the reason for his chest pressure on Monday am. The vocal cords allow the air to flow through the trachea and out the mouth. If they are not working - he is not breathing correctly.

So we could put in another trach - remember he enjoyed removing them in previous adventures? Then there are other type of surgeries to remove some of the folds and they would be complicated. The end result is the possibility of aspiration. Right now I opted for no trach.

I would like to challenge all of us to PRAY EARNESTLY that GOD would remove the paralysis from Steve's vocal cords. If this truly a "God experience" then HE CAN remove the paralysis!! Right? Amen! Today he passed a swallow test and tonight he enjoyed a meal! Pureed peas and a few whole ones that scared me as he was eating them. He did a good job chewing by the way. Also mashed potatoes that tasted better than Silvercare's and ground up chicken. He did a great job and I was really proud of him.

Thank you so much for responding to the blog this week. Mr. Steve has REALLY enjoyed us reading them to him. He did his share of tearing up as I was sharing - well, yes, we both were.
God is using your words to encourage us and they will keep Mr. Steve pressing on!

This is the game plan. All is subject to change according to God's plan. Tomorrow we will find out if Mr. Steve is allowed to go to Silvercare. The insurance company and Silvercare have a difference of opinion regarding to his progress. I pray that this all works out and he is able to go to Silvercare for a week. This will give us the opportunity to get the house ready with the necessary equipment. At that time we will be bringing Mr. Steve home. Oh my!

We - Mrs., Kimberly, and Uncle Dennis and Co. will rehab Mr. Steve here. He may want to go back to Silvercare by the time we are done with him. I think he will progress just fine. The hardest part will be taking care of his "personal" needs. Getting him mobile enough to use the bathroom will be the key to my sanity!

Thank you seems like such a small word when we are the receiving end of your love and concern. Keep on trusting along with us and I KNOW God will be glorified in ALL we do!
"Romans 8:28 is still in the Bible", my Dad used to say, "And we know that ALL things work together for good to them that love GOD, to them who are the called according to HIS purpose."

Sleep well - Steve is doing better these days.

Mr. Steve and Company

the next step

There are some big decisions to be made concerning my Dad's health.

Please pray specifically for wisdom for us and the doctors.

God has the power to do AWESOME things and Pray that HIS name will be glorified in any and all circumstances!!

No broken bones

Dad had x-rays done today on his shoulder and hips and all checked out to be fine.

He is being seen by a ton of doctors today that will continue the rest of the week. He will be at Virtua Voorhees until Monday.

They need to check out basically his whole body (head/brain to toe)...so that they know whether or not Dad could be 'faking' it.

Mom and I read to him the blog this evening during my visit; and he was genuinely touched that so many people from all over are praying for him. I think I've mentioned this before but he is very emotional these days; so he starts crying when he hears about people praying for him; or when people come to visit because it is "such an encouragement to me."

Good night

"good morning friends"

I just thought I would give you a morning update. I just talked to Virtua Hospital. Mr. Steve fell asleep at 10:00pm! He missed the great football game last night though. Even though the Eagles lost - it was a really good game - I should have gone to sleep but I couldn't. Anyway -
Mr. Steve woke up during the night and was calling for an ambulance. The nurse went in and reoriented him and he fell back asleep. Praise the Lord. At 8:50 am his is still sleeping - thank you for all your prayers!!

At this point I don't know how long he will be there but we will keep you posted. If you would like to speak to Mr. Steve by way of the blog - they have a computer hooked up to the TV and I am able to read your entries. Yesterday I read the blog to him and the replies. He really enjoyed them. So here is your opportunity for Mr. Steve to hear from you ASAP!

Have a GREAT day we sure will!

Mrs. Steve

"another hospital visit - whoopee"

Today when I went to visit Steve before work I entered the room to find him strewn all over the bed. He had "food tube" food all over him. His gown was wet and he said that the peg tube opened and it went everywhere. He said it was in his belly button and that he was picking it out of his beard. He was a real mess.

When I got over to him he was breathing deeply - short of breath. He had the oxygen on his nose, not IN his nose. Also he was complaining of a heavy chest. Pressure on his chest. He wanted me to call Mr. Mike - our primary care physician. I asked him to explain what he felt. He knew the feeling of a heart attack and he knew that he didn't want to relive it. I talked to the nurse and she called 911. The Cherry Hill ambulance came and put nitro under his tongue and gave him a baby aspirin.

So our day was spent at Virtua. They have admitted him and did a number of tests today. He had a full ultra sound/CT scan and they have determined that there is NO blood clots in his body. Praise the Lord - right family!! So we can sleep better knowing that! They are going to do some test with his heart but I don't know what - it was getting confusing. He is on a heart monitor while he is there.

They are also going to do some x-rays - Steve is excited about that. Then we will have some answers about the pain in his hip area and bottom. Also he saw a pulmonary dr. and he thinks he has sleep apnea. He will prescribe a scrip for a sleep study. Hopefully they can do that as an outpatient from Silvercare. Also the pulmonary dr. had Steve seen by an ENT dr. He said that the upper CT scan will show the throat area. He thinks that there may be a narrowing of the trachea and he may need surgery. That will be interesting. I have not liked his breathing since this whole thing started. It may also have to do with the blood in the brain and the AVM.

I think that is all. Continue to pray for peace for Steve. When I left tonight he was fine - I reassured him and confirmed where he was and where my number was and where I keep the phone when I sleep. I do hope he does well tonight.

I REALLY appreciate every one's prayers. Steve and I REALLY felt the power of prayer today. Steve was REALLY good. Not much moaning and content as we waited for the tests and in the ER. I told him I was REALLY proud of him!!

We are keeping on - keeping on - as Don Hare would say!

Janice

"enlisting all prayer warriors!"

Friends -

We are coming into a very important place in our lives. Mr. Steve is now at a sub-acute facility. This is a step down from the acute rehab when he was at Magee. It is hard to accept the fact that he is not progressing, as I shared before. He NEEDS to progress NOW and not just a little - he needs to progress A LOT! For example - he needs not only to be able to sit on his bed without assistance BUT he needs to be able to get from the wheelchair to the bed using a straight board.

Let me tell you where we are - he is able to get to a better sitting position in the bed when someone helps hold his arm and gently pulls him. He has had NO therapy on Saturday or Sunday. So my concern is that things that he had may have been lost to some degree; since moving to Silvercare.

Also Steve still has a "peg" tube in his belly. That is where they are feeding him from a bag to give him more nutrition. He is eating some pureed foods but he doesn't eat much because they don't taste too good. I would not like him coming home with a peg tube but they say that sometimes happens.

He also is not able to get to a potty - and that is another issue for us to deal with "at home".

The social worker is telling us that his AETNA insurance days are numbered and that she will do her best to get as many days as possible. Now some of you are saying that we should be glad that he is coming home. But in reality - this will be a VERY difficult time for us. He just isn't mobile enough for us to care for him easily.

The night terrors still plague him. Last nights terror was that he was at a camp and mercenaries got into the camp and was trying to get the woman and children so they could use them as slaves. He was trying with all his power to get them out. How scary.

Right now we ask all of you to plead with God that He show mercy to Steve and deliver him from these terrible dreams. Also that God will deliver him from the pain he is experiencing. This week I promised Steve that we would be getting some concrete answers. Steve prayed tonight and he specifically prayed that God would give him a peaceful nights sleep and take the pain away! If God awakens you at night time - whisper a prayer for Mr. Steve please.

Rest well.

"life with Job"

The last few days have been difficult. They are always difficult when there is change for a patient in a new environment. Especially when the patient has a brain injury, As you know -
the move was difficult physically and emotionally. We are most grateful that he is on this side of the river in NJ!

Yesterday they did some evaluating. The speech therapist is out so he can not get okayed to eat solids until then. And that is fine because he was eating for me and a couple of times I had to coax him to swallow. Of course the food in his mouth wasn't prime rib ----- but he should have swallowed it a little faster. The "mystery meat and mystery vegetables" just wasn't too palatable. It was suggested that the next church dinner be prepared just like Steve has been enjoying so that you can experience what he is experiencing what he is experiencing and be able to pray much more effectively for the sick! He said they serve mashed potatoes EVERY lunch and dinner - I'd venture a guess that there will not be mashed potatoes for a very long time when he comes home.

I'm not sure how much PT and OT they did. I think it was just stretching in the bed. But today I asked that he get out of bed and into a wheelchair. I didn't want to loose his great endurance he had for sitting in the wheelchair. Well, that was an adventure all its own!! They tried in the AM but it didn't go well. So after lunch the new aide thought she would be nice and get him into the hoyer and into the wheelchair so we could take him outside. I thought it would be good for him to have a visual to see familiar surroundings. Oh my - BAD MOVE! The wheelchair was too wide and no support and he began to slip right out of the chair. The aide went out to get help and Kimberly and I got him back onto the hoyer and back in bed. That was a nerve racking adventure that we care NOT to repeat. The only thing it proved is that Kimberly AND I together have to move him on the hoyer. Bringing him anywhere will be one BIG job!

We are still trying to figure out his pain. I am planning on pushing for him to have an x ray done. This way we will know for sure if there is a physical problem. This pain thing may be part of the healing process and he may be "thinking" it will hurt before the leg or arm is moved.
PLEASE continue to pray with us about this in particular.

A note of praise - tonight as friends were visiting I asked Steve to look at his hand. He still doesn't understand why God put someone elses hand on him. So I did the preschool thing and talked about "how many hands did God give you?" He said, "two." I then replied, "then where are they - point to them." He lifted his right hand then stopped and looked at the left hand. I said, "that is your left hand - wiggle your fingers." He said he was. I told him again to look at his hand and wiggle the fingers. He wiggled his middle finger on his left hand! Yeah!! That is a start - we'll take it. I can't wait to see him do it again tomorrow. That is our encouragement for today.

I read tonight from Job 3. We have talked a lot about how Job would have reacted to be in Steve's place. It was a good passage for Steve to hear. Job was human and his feelings mirrored Steve's in many ways. The devotional part talked about stress and not letting our minds go crazy. It even mentioned about worrying at nighttime. Perfect for Steve to hear.
He pray right along with me as we went before the Lord asking the Lord to take away the night time terrors. When he gets these he yells out for members of the family. This is very disruptive to everyone on the hall. PLEASE PRAY THAT GOD WOULD BIND THE EVIL ONE AND THAT STEVE WOULD BE FREE OF THIS BONDAGE! Thank you for taking this to our Lord.

Janice

50's and in a nursing home...

Yes people my father has made it to yet another 'hospital.'

Dad got to silver care this afternoon. He was in respiratory distress for a while because he had to be laying flat for the trip over here. I'm sure he probably got caught in some traffic; as most south jersey people did today. (There was a fatal crash on one highway that caused all kinds of traffic issues.)

I got to see him right after work...and I brought a present for him:) He was abnormally sad tonight so I knew this would help him! I got him an iPod shuffle! I put all of 'his' kind of music...(no country, sad day)...so he could relax. It is so nice to see him truly relax when I put the music on. Music therapy is amazing...and every rehab facility should have it! This new place does not but I'll have to recreate my own music therapy with him;) Its so funny because when he has the head phones in he moves his hand with the music...he loves it!:)

Also another cool thing about today is that Dad has a phone right next to his bed...he had one before, but he couldn't reach it. So the good/bad news is that he can call anytime he wants. Our cell phone numbers are hard for him to remember; but our house number hasn't changed in twenty years so that's definitely engraved in his memory.

Prayer request goes as follows...

Dad is at a new facility so pray that he gets the same level of care that he has received previously. I'm a little nervous because Dad is probably the youngest patient they have; and therapy may not be as intense as I'd like it.

Also pray for the night terrors that dad continues to have. He said that he is going to write them down and send them to Stephen King.

Finally, pray for healing. Dad's left side does not move on command. His shoulder still is very tender and he screams in pain if you touch or move his left hand. His brain does not process things as it used too. Time does not make sense to him right now. He thinks that this happened yesterday and that he will go home tomorrow. And trying to explain to him that you can't take him home right now is hard; because he gets upset.

Reality check: I never thought I would go see my dad in a nursing home two years after graduating college.

"on the move AGAIN"

Well, tomorrow starts another chapter in this very long novel!! We started at Virtua, then Jefferson ER, Jefferson Hospital, Jefferson Neuroscience, St. Agnes, Methodist for CT scan, Magee, and now Silvercare. Silvercare is located on Brace Road in Cherry Hill, NJ. They only thing I can say is that we have made a full circle and now we are back in good ole New Jersey.

Because of his need for medical healing we opted to bring him closer to home. This will be great with me going back to work full time again. And of course as all things are - this was also a "God" thing.

Last week I found out that he wasn't handling the heavy rehab at Magee. He was sleepy during the sessions and wasn't as productive as we all had hoped. Because of the "night terrors" his sleeping patterns have been a real problem. I hope that as they have adjusted his medicine and getting into a more familiar surrounding will help take care of some of these problems.

I was asking around about some "sub-acute" facilities in the area. His Case Manager at Magee suggested Manor Care in Cherry Hill. I asked a few people what they had heard about Manor Care and it was not favorable choice. I was given the name of Silvercare on Brace Road. And found out that one of my preschool moms is the Case Manager for this facility. A call was made and the process began. Before the end of the day everything was confirmed and he was on his way - just some paperwork needed to be finalized. I had the joy of going to my meeting to hear that they wanted to move him, to tell them that I already had him going to Silvercare. They were all amazed! See - only the Case Manager is a believer and we both knew that these circumstances had "God" written all over it. God had planned for me to change jobs to a new preschool before I had a clue, now I know this was part of His plan for our family!

This has been a very difficult time for Steve. I can't even put into words how difficult this is.
I will be glad to get him closer so as you visit he will know your love and support. I will have a book so you can sign it so I know that you have visited if Kimberly or I are not there. I don't want to say someone visited if they really didn't.

Pray that the transition goes well for Steve. He has to go in an ambulance and that in itself can be stressful. We'll be glad to get him there. Sometime in the afternoon is the plan.

Time to "re-group"

Well, I had a meeting with the "team" at Magee. The team agrees that Mr. Steve is not as strong as he needs to be to reach his potential at Magee. He still has the pain issue in his shoulder, hip, and left leg. After much discussion we decided that it would be in Mr. Steve's best interest to move to a sub-acute facility in NJ. Please pray that God will direct us to the place where he will get the best medical care and receive a fair amount of therapy. I have visited one in the area and they have a 3 hour program a day.

At the sub-acute facility they would be able to sent him out to have the sleep study. They would be able to allow him to get the rest his body needs to heal. He is a very slow healer.
We could probably have the hip/shoulder x-rayed as well.

They assured me that they would check out the equipment the facility has so that he would have the ability to use the same type of equipment. Also they would pass on the information about the current wheelchair so that he will not have to go through the entire process of adjustment again.

Tomorrow morning Mr. Steve will travel to Methodist Hospital again for a CT scan. This scan will show us how much more the blood has dissipated. We know it has gone down but it would be good to find out really how much. More information about the AVM is to come this week.

With having him close will give more people the opportunity to visit him. This will bring him encouragement and hopefully the drive to keep on "pressing on" to a full recovery. His left leg has moved and so has his left arm - so we are hoping this is a good sign.

We are hoping that Mr. Steve could have a special visit from his furry friend, Daisy! There are places outside that we could have them meet. That would surely get him smiling! That will be our big surprise! Someday!

Serving our Lord continually,

Janice

"THANK YOU, LORD"

Thank you Lord, for a very good visit with Mr. Steve today. I was pleased with his attitude - not nearly the moaning and complaining that he had had up until this time. Thank you for Lior who knows just how to get him to listen and NOT moan. She was cute - she said that if he moaned, she would moan back and that would not be a pretty sound. They both laughed!

Thank you Lord, for his ability to eat by himself. He does a pretty good job with the pureed carrots. He didn't care so much for the "mystery meat" Lord, and had to ask the nurse for catsup. That will disguise anything. He did want a roll and I thought that was a good question. The nurse said that it was too big right now but soon. His appetite is getting better and that is good.

Thank you Lord, for the encouragement with his vision today. He read the label on the TV "donated by friends of Jerry Seigel". He wanted to know who Jerry Seigel was. Lord, it was good that he finally saw the pictures on the wall. We placed this on the wall the first day he arrived - in fact they have been in every hospital room he has been in. He did see Kevin's picture at the very top but wasn't sure who was in the picture with him. But Lord, he saw it and that was super! Lord, I am also thankful for the way he was more tolerant of the sun. We went up to the 6th floor on the roof and he couldn't handle the sun weeks ago and today he was fine. He actually ENJOYED our time up there!

Thank you also for preserving his "cooking" brain. He was able to assist Bob and Kathy Wood as they went over details for the church dinner on the 21st of September. Now you guys better eat up or take tiny portions to make him look good. JUST KIDDING!

"Give thanks in all circumstances. . ." I Thessalonians 5:18. This is good for all of us to give thanks!! Thank you Lord for the reminder today that "All things are possible. . ." We know that Mr. Steve's full recovery is possible and we thank you for increasing our faith as we travel this road with so many people who love us and pray for us!!!!!!

Tomorrow I have a meeting with the case manager and the doctors to plan out more of Mr. Steve's recovery. I really covet your prayer. They want him to reach his FULL potential so we may need to make a few changes. Please pray for wisdom for all of us. Thank you!

Janice

I guess from now on - there may not be a blog every night. Because of us trying to have some time to ready the house and go to choir - we may not be visiting every single solitary day.

Thursday night was the first night Kimberly and I didn't go to Magee. It really worked out well. We had family and people from church visiting him. They stayed until 9:00pm - that is more than I do. But, he had a room full. Thank you to everyone who visited him. Pastor Dave I hope he didn't sleep on your time again. Kimberly and I enjoyed choir but I have to admit part of me was in Philly. I felt much better when Bud called so I could say good night to Steve and Kimberly wanted to say good night to her dad. When I saw him on Friday he was able to tell me some of the people who had visited. He is still working on that short term memory. So in the future I will leave a notebook for visitors to sign in. This way when he tells me someone has visited I KNOW they really visited. Not like today when Koz was upstairs in a meeting and would be down at 3:00 to visit him! I knew that was not true. Also, if you want me to reiterate something you said - you could write it down.

Today I went up early because I knew he was having physical therapy at 10:00am. This gave me the opportunity to see him in action. When I got there he was asleep in the hall - he can't be left unattended. We went to the room and I was able to read and talk to him a little. Ashley came and got him for therapy. He was really "out". I told her when we got to the gym to take off his nice warm blanket and he would wake up and that is just what she and Charise did! With a little grumbling he participated. The goal for today was to stand with the help of the tilt table.
He did well. It is always difficult to get him into position because of his size and inability to move. Ashley did great and explained why we had to do this and he said - "then let's go." That was encouraging for all of us! He batted a balloon with Charise for a long time. Then he was given a badminton racket. I thought Ashley was going to get it a couple times. He really had good hand/eye coordination. His left side was still a problem but not quite as bad. I'd say that he was standing for better than a half hour! He was learning to put weight on his "good" - right leg and some on his "bad" left leg. The reason the "" are used is because if you remember - the bad foot is his right foot, the question how "good" is the right leg?? I guess we'll see! Ashley and I were encouraged because he is beginning to have spasms in his left leg. Any movement in the leg is a good sign!

Thank you all for your cards of encouragement. God continues to encourage us on a daily basis!
Today I read from My Utmost for His Highest and it was just about what Steve and I were talking about last night before I left. Also we were talking about not complaining but be thankful (have joy!) and Greg Laurie has been talking about that on his radio program. I LOVE those GOD moments!!!
I hope you all can say that you have experienced some of these times - they make great memories of God's faithfulness to us.

Have a great day worshipping tomorrow - we love you!

Mr. Steve and family

Good evening one and all...

Choir rehearsal went well...and for the first time since we began this journey Mom nor I went up to see Dad at all.

We talked with him on the phone to say "Good Night" but that's pretty much it.

He had a shower tonight which I heard went better than last time.

Dad will have a CT Scan early next week to check the brain and how things are going...let ya know how that goes.

Continue to pray for Mom and I as we 'prepare' for the new life ahead of us. There are no guarantees with Dad...so it is very 'foggy' as to the future and the care of Dad in the short and long term.

If you would be interested in visiting Dad, please email myself or my mom so we can put you on the schedule. Thanks:)

Night off

Mom and I had the night off! Praise God!

We left my father in the hands of friends so we could take a night off of putting Dad to bed. Today dad had a good day!:) He played black jack, sipped out of a cup, sat on the edge of a bed (with serious help) but he had a good day!

When we were there with him; he was not as 'complainy' as he usually is!:) He was holding his head up in bed really well tonight...so I took a picture of it!!! Here's Dad eating some pureed chicken and mashed potatoes, and for dessert pudding!...

So yes, today I finally got to see my dad eat!:) He was fed by his nurse in bed because he was a good boy today and was in his wheel chair a lot of the day, so he got to go to bed early! His wheel chair doubles as a seat for visitors...so here's his brother chilln out in it:

Here is a picture of Dad's 'trolley' that he takes a shower in...its interesting...he put up a HUGE fight last night for a shower...and even today he said that he's not taking one tomorrow...but he will...like it or not...the nurses don't like smelly patients...

Pray for Mom and I tomorrow, and Dad, as we will not be able to go up and see him at all. He will have visitors from church at night; but this will be the first time he has had neither Mom or I go up to see him. Pray for mom too...she's been at his bedside everyday since this began a while ago; and I'm sure she will miss seeing him.

Also pray for the plans and construction that will be taking place at our house the next couple weeks. Our house right now is not able to handle Dad and his wheel chair, hospital bed, etc. So doorways and ramps need to be widened and built before he can come home.

Thank you so much for you cards!! Dad really likes to look at them when we bring them to the hospital!!

To those of you who are visiting Dad, please be prepared to 'say' something...he told us today, after we explained to him we would not be there tomorrow, that he will have to come up with something to talk about...Please feel free to talk about your life with Dad. He doesn't always want to talk about his situation, so talk about things in your life, ask him for advice in different situations and such...He likes that. Ask him questions about how long too cook meat...or anything about food...it will get his mind off his 'life' now

Well it has been a long day...off to bed...Good night:)

Also...a confession has to be made...yes I am sick...and yes I went to see dad....and yes...now he has a cold:( So pray for his cold to get better quickly...and that this will not slow down any progress being made; or develop into something a lot worse:(

"seven weeks and counting"

I know I am tired - but it is tiring waking up listening to good Bible messages and songs. Then arriving at Magee in a really happy spirit and come in and say hi to a grump. Moaning and complaining about his shoulder and hips and a "dead hand" that is heavy and that isn't his.
He is so busy complaining that he doesn't always say hi, or give me a kiss, or even say I love you.
He just tells me how difficult his day has been.

Every other night he gets a shower. They place him on a big trolley, they call it. The way they move him onto the trolley is by moving the sheet from his bed and they slide him over to the trolley then after the shower they use a dry sheet and slide him back onto his bed. Now think about it - a big man with a bad right shoulder and "dead" hand/arm/leg being moved by two women. Not an easy thing to do with two strapping men. He describes it as being flopped around like a fish.

Sunday night he got a shower and the ladies were not the gentlest. So when it came to tonight he "refused" to do it. He "WAS NOT" going to have a shower. He was going to go home and take one. I kindly explained that not able to do that yet. That went no where. Lior one of the nurses that he has had all during his stay is very sweet and came in and said "Now Mr. Steve let's rock and roll. I like all my patients to smell good when I take care of them. I'll stay right with you and help the girls." Lior and the ladies did a great job calming him and washing him gently. He even said so. Although he did scream out a number of times - "you're hurting me".


Now that I am back to work full time I do get the "left overs". He is tired by the time I get him.
Today one of the nurses let him call home and leave a message for me. He was telling me that he was tired of this and was ready to come up and would I pick him up.

As we were praying Steve was "amening" everything I was saying. So I know he was understanding what I was praying about. We prayed that God would help Steve to be patient and look at the little accomplishments. I think he is holding his head up a lot better even tonight when he was tired. We also prayed that he would have a happy spirit and try to think of things to be thankful for rather than complaining. He amened that as well. So we'll see how tomorrow is.

Tomorrow I visit with the case manager - we'll see if they kick him out or not. He is sleeping better at night from what I understand and that is a blessing. Because Andrew asked to be moved because Steve was keeping him awake. Sorry Andrew.

Have a great day -

Mr. Steve and company

silly hospitals...

Every time I go to see dad...I end up...not seeing him...sitting in the hallway

Today was no different;)

I went to the hospital today in the late afternoon to relieve my mom of 'night' duty. I got there in time for dinner so I could see or help Dad eat dinner!:) I was soo excited to see him eat a meal!

But I was asked to leave...

The nurses said no family members are allowed to be in the dining room while patients eat.

So...so much for that...

I waited another hour to see him; then he got meds and put back in bed. This also is a time in which I am not allowed in as they change him into a hospital gown; and usually put him on a bed pan so he can use the potty...which kicks me out of the room yet again...

I finally get to 'hang out' with my dad around 6:30 when Mom decides to go home; and I get Dad all to myself.

And he falls asleep.

So I end up playing tetris on my cell phone until 7:45 when I read to him, pray and head home.

That is my usual trip to see my dad. I get him at the end of the day when he is worn out from all the activities of the day. I think I'll just say that its the time of the day when he is most at peace because I'm there;) (whatever;)

Dad is making small improvements everyday. But he still complains all the time for almost everything. Pray that the pain of his shoulder will go away. (Which the doctor told us is only his mind playing tricks on him). Pray for therapy this week so he can catch up from the weekend and the holiday as no routine therapy took place:(

You can also pray about Mom and I as we get ready for Dad to come home. Yes we know its a while down the road...probably another 5 weeks...but pray that we get everything set up...we have to organize the basement and get rid of stuff to make room for things in the living room. We have to move rooms; paint; and get the living room ready for Dad. He will need a hospital bed and porta-potty. And that will only fit in the living room. A ramp needs to be built and the drive way needs to be fixed...

There is a lot to do in a short amount of time...so we appreciate all the support we can get.

Thank you so much for your friendship; your prayer support; financial contributions, etc...God has truly been good to us; and we do not take it for granted!

PS from last night

My brain was fried by the time I wrote the blog last night and I forgot to put the most important part of my conversation with Steve about his hand. . . Steve was not understanding what is going on with the hand/arm that is attached to his body. I keep trying to assure him that in fact it is "his" hand. I tell him that it is sleeping and that he needs to try and look at it and move it. I told him yesterday that God has enabled our brain to redirect the signals and that he will be able to move it again. He said "NA, that's not possible" So even Mr.Steve will see how awesome our God is and that HE has made us in an amazing and wonderful way! No human or even a doctor, as invincible as they think they are, can make a "sleeping hand" move again. And so I begin to hum the song, "Our God is an awesome God"!

And HE is awesome!

We Deicherts, have a lot to thank the Lord for this evening. This evening as I was coming home I saw flashing police lights and many tow trucks and then I realized that there had been a car accident. God has protected our family while traveling many miles to and from the hospital and to and from Ohio. We are extremely thankful for His watch care over us. And also many people have blessed us with money so that the parking, tolls and gas have not been an expense for us. Thank you everyone.

Steve is getting a little stronger every day. Today they put him on a flat table and raised him up to a standing position. Strapped to the table of course. This was great. He was uncomfortable but it gave him a chance to stand and know that feeling again. He stood for about 10 minutes. He did want to walk, so he wasn't quite understanding that he was not able to do this yet. Also he is processing things a little better. He was able to take his pain medication in the pill form by swallowing them. I told him he is better than me because I still can't swallow pills!! Right family??

Sometime during the day he does have a few times that he gets very confused. Today he wanted to know if I knew what time he needed to be at Keswick. I assured him that they were not expecting him tomorrow. Sorry Bill he won't be in tomorrow. He still can't figure out why God but a dead hand on his body. He really doesn't believe that it is his. I explained that the hand is sleeping and that he needs to look at it and retrain his brain to move it. He said that I was lying to him. I assured him that I do not lie and he knows that because he has told me many times that I would never make a poker player!

Enjoy your Labor Day together with your family and friends - I don't know where the summer went. Steve and I didn't even get any delicious white sweet corn. And now I don't want it if Steve can't have it either. We'll just have to enjoy it the more next year! He will also enjoy many Jersey tomatoes.

Love,

Mr. Steve, Janice, Kevin and Brandy, Kimberly and three of the greatest grandchildren ever!