My Finite Mind Grasping an Infinite God...

For the first time in my life; I've let myself focus on the days or months ahead and not on today. I'm always the one that when people say I'm gonna do ____ in a year I always say You only have today! I wouldn't say that I am worried about next month; but I think of it and I get upset to think my dad could possibly never same my name again. I know all the right answers, trust me I know. But I love my dad, and you could say, I like him. He's a really great guy; and it makes me sad to think of what could happen...(I'm a tell-it-like-it-is kinda person).

But I want to let you all know that he is doing really good considering all the previous days events. He is at Jefferson Hospital of Neuroscience in their intensive care unit. He is still on a ventilator but off of any sedation medicine! The ventilator machine is set to have him breath 14 breaths per minute and he was averaging 25ish during the day which is really good because that means he is fighting the machine and wanting to breath on his own! He responds to small commands like, squeeze my hand, etc.

The nurses held his eyes open, since he cannot on his own right now, and they asked him "how many fingers am I holding up?" and he showed them 1 or two depending...so that's a HUGE answer to prayer!!! He is making GREAT improvments. The grandkids said good night to him over the phone; and you could see his eyes moving and head leaning towards the phone. So he knows we are there, and he can hear us.

Here's the reality check. We talked with one of his doctors today and she let us know what we are looking at. The bleeding on the brain that he had which was caused from the AVM was quite severe and has an 80% fatality. So its a really big deal that he made it through it!!

However; where he is right now, is where he is at...There is no way to tell what he will be able to do down the road. Most likely he will have weeks of hospitals and months of rehab. He may not regain strength in his left side. He may never be able to feed himself. He may need a trachiotomy, etc...The list goes on and on.

So for me, I have to be reminded that GOD IS BIGGER THAN MY PROBLEM...and my mind can't grasp him recovering; but GOD CAN DO WHAT HE WANTS TO DO! Either way, God will get the glory and I will praise Him for all of His blessings!!

Continue to pray for myself, my mom, my brother and his wife as we are all trying to make sense of things, and make good decisions. Pray for doctors and wisdom. Brandy is almost full term with their third baby and is on bedrest. Pray that she can stay pregnant a little longer; and strength for Kevin as he wants to be here and there; plus doing double time watching the girls in the morning and working at night. Today has been tough for me, and my mom seems to be the strongest of anyone.

I cannot say enough good things about the staff at Jefferson! They really are fantastic people and they are taking GREAT care of my dad!

I will continue to update as more information comes available. I know that the surgeons are going to discuss an treatment option for the AVM in the morning and mom will probably give a verbal ok for it. The ___(I don't remember the name of it) will go up his leg round the heart and into his brain to see the AVM...if it isn't too complicated they will treat the AVM with glue and dispose of it later somehow. (They need to treat the AVM from bleeding out in the future).

Thank you for your continued encouraging posts...keep on praying...