"being transparent"

All of you have a vision of what Mr. Steve is to you. This could be the way he acts or says or what he looks like. You will need to erase some of that from your mind for a minute or two. Right now he is lying in a hospital bed with a scrufty beard and eyes closed some of the day. He has a hole in his throat which they have put a cap on it so he can breathe without assistance. He is unable to get out of bed to use the bathroom facilities - so you take it from there.... He has been tested for sugar 4 plus times a day and given multiple needles a day. He has not had a drink of water or food for over 5 weeks. He is getting nourishment from a peg tube in his stomach. Think about that...what is his profession and delight?? And one last thing, what are you looking at right now?? He told me that the images on the TV were all scrambled up. He told me he saw a spider web on my sweater.

Right about now he has had "enough". He says this stinks. "It's like living through hell." He is scared. He got the last of his stitches out today and told me he went in for surgery. He is reliving and trying to sort out the last 5 weeks. He doesn't understand what has happened and it is way too much to understand for us as well. He doesn't really know that his left side of his body is not working. He asked today why Ken keeps asking him to hold someone's hand/arm when he is in the big lift. He doesn't know it is his hand that he doesn't feel. He thinks he can just get up and walk to the bathroom and get to the car and go home. He thinks his brother and "the boys" will take him home and it will be as it was before. He wanted his cell phone so he could call the ambulance to take him home. NO I have his cell phone.

By the end of the conversation he was crying and I was also. Praise the Lord we have been given compassionate nurses who will stay with him and comfort him. They love him as we do and they encourage him to keep on. They don't know Mr. Steve - he is made of tough stuff.

Tomorrow I have a meeting with the case manager who is a believer. This is good because we will be able to converse on the same level with openness. I will be able to get more information and be able to give it to Steve and the family.

Please pray that Mr. Steve will not become discouraged - that he will remain strong. He is doing better physically. He is not complaining about the wheelchair today as much and he is pulling up his body to sit straighter. He is also trying to straighten his head/neck. He would have rather that God would have let him know that this was going to happen. I said that's not the way it works. He knew that. So we perservere. Continue on. I told him to just look at today. I gave him examples of what HAS BEEN accomplished. I prayed and we kissed and I left. This is and will be a very long process.

Thank you for your continued prayers for all of us.

The Deicherts -Mr. Steve and family