I went to see Dad tonight with Brandy and baby Derek. We had a smooth ride to the hospital, and when we got there he was sleeping. So we waited in the day room for a little while so he could sleep.
Brandy went in first to visit with him, then he asked for me.
Once I got in to his room his gown was all messed up and I said "Dad, what are you doing?" And he said "Where is your car?...Go get a wheel chair I need to go home to fix the phone bill."
I told him that he had to spend the night at the hospital because he has to get stronger before he can come home. He proceeded to tell me all the bad memories he is continually reliving while at the hospital. "I just want to go home and get a good night sleep."
He got upset.
I got upset.
I haven't cried in a long time; but seeing your dad frustrated, and you cannot fix any of the problems laid before him; well...you would probably get upset too. I assured him that he would be OK and that I will be back tomorrow to see him. He said "You better be."
One of the toughest battles my dad will fight in the coming weeks and months is the ability to recognize the inability he has to complete simple tasks. He said he had to go to the bathroom and he wanted me to help him up to go.
He can't walk right now, he can't hold his head up on his own. And the problem with the location of the initial hemorrhage is that he will 'think' he can do the things asked of him, lift your left arm, hold my hand, etc...but on the one side of his body it will take some time for it all to come back.
Please pray for my dad. Pray that he can understand and accept the circumstances that surround him. Pray that we would remain strong as we are helpless to his aide. Pray that his recovery would be honoring to the Lord.
Dad said that he would be OK if "It would leave me alone for a while." I told him that God thinks that you can handle this, so be strong and rely on Him to get you through it.
Also pray that bad memories would go away. Pray that Dad would be able to focus on good things and to not be scared.
It is never easy to stand and watch someone hurting. If it is; you don't deserve the life you have been given. I pray that you would help someone today, this week, this month. You don't have to help me or my family, but someone. It will do you and them some good. God told us:
Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
Phillippians 2:3-11
9 comments:
I'm sorry Kimberly. It is so hard to watch someone hurting and struggling when you are limited in what you can do. I have been reading in Philippians too. Great verses! Thank you for your transparency. I will be praying for you and your family. We still need to make that coffee date.
Sandy
Kimberly~ I am so sorry that you have to watch your dad like this. But like you said, stay strong for him. It's not easy at times but through Christ alone you can do it. I will be praying for not only your dad but for you as well today! Keep your head up!!
Love ya~ Julie
Satan attacked Benj. in his thoughts to keep him from resting also. God's people prayed specifically for relief from this and the Lord took it from him. I know your tears, I still cry them myself. The hardest thing for me to deal with was watching B. cry each time he found out what he couldn't do that he knew he had know or been able to do. Crying and rejoicing do go together like sweet and sour soup. Lots and lots of love - linda
Through your posts, God is continuing to bless me by showing me what a godly family looks like. How do people get through such a crisis without leaning on God? You are all in my prayers.
I am praying for you, Kimberly. I took care of my mom during her fight with cancer. She had many bad nights when she would call for help and ask me to do things I couldn't do. The worst was catch a mouse that only she could see. She got frustrated with me that I wasn't trying harder to catch the mouse on the celing.
I am happy that you are going the other way on this journey. Things WILL get better. The bad days will slowly be replaced with more good days.
With Love,
Esther
Know of our constant prayer on behalf of your dad, mom and family. We so wish that we could be there but distance is such that we can't at this time. By fall we will be in the area and then perhaps we could pop in to encourage you all. We love you guys and want God's best for Mr. Steve.
Bill and Nancy Amstutz
God is working, satan is obviously ticked off and trying to make things hard on you and your Dad. I will keep praying and I will pray for your dad to have some good, blessed memories come to him!!
-Nancy
Kimberly:
You are a wonderful daughter and your faithfulness to your Dad and our Lord is a beautiful thing. We (Rosemary more than I) ministered to my Mom for many years as her health failed before the Lord recently took her home. We know the difficulity of watching someone you love struggling with a health issue. Our God is great and your Dad is strong, from a distance that seems to be a great combination, I realize that from your perspective, being right there with your Dad every day, it is difficult to watch what your Dad is enduring.
Please know that we are praying for you and your family, as someone else posted, your family is a tremendous encouragement to us. Your parents have done a great job of raising you and I know that your Dad has a deep appreciation of the love that you and your family members have demonstrated through this entire challenge.
We love you guys,
Bill and Rosemary
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